In the last few entries I talked about what a “yes” and a “maybe” looked and sounded like during a conversation.  This week I want to talk about how to recognize a “no” and why you should be willing to walk away. 
Most experts are in agreement there are seven universal emotions.  More importantly, once you learn to recognize them, you can go anywhere in the world and tell how a person feels about a situation just by watching their expression.  From a sales perspective, anytime you see a look of contempt, disgust, and/or anger on someone’s face, you’ve probably “lost the battle” and it’s time to end the conversation.  Keep in mind, in order to become really good at spotting any of the three, you need to practice.  And, to help you out, I’ve included both pictures (above) and descriptions (below) for all three:
  1. Contempt:  Lip corner pulled in and back on one side of the face.  When you see this, it signifies the other person thinks they’re better than you and there is very little you can do to change their mind.  When it comes to closing the deal, you might want to let this one go.  This person is not going to buy or go into business with someone they think they’re better than.
  2. Disgust:  Upper lip pulled up; nose wrinkled; and brows pulled down.  Wow – think fast.  Whatever you just said didn’t go over well with the other person.  In fact you probably repulsed them.  You can also forget trying to close the deal because you’ve just lost their respect. 
  3. Anger:  Lips narrow, red part of the lip rolled in tight; lower and upper eyelids pulled up; eyebrows pulled down; and there may be a flash of teeth.  Whenever someone looks anger and its directed at me, I know it’s time to end and/or leave the conversation.  Emotions color judgment and can make the smallest things appear and/or blow up into much bigger issues.  The look of anger =  not the time to talk.

When you see any of the above and it’s coupled with a verbal “no,” it’s time to walk away.  Any attempt to try and persuade the other person to see your point of view will only make matters worse.  Plus, by taking this approach you give the impression your agenda is more important than theirs.  Is that really how you want to come across?  Why not save yourself some time and work on other more promising prospects?  
Next week I’ll talk about what a “no” sounds like….a couple of them may surprise you.

About Alicia

20 years ago I had no idea other people didn’t recognize and interpret body language the way I did. It was just something I picked up on naturally.
I am a national conference speaker, facilitator, and coach, specializing in non-verbal communication. I received my Master of Science in Human Resources from the University of Houston.
My passion is helping others become influential so that they can reach their career and business goals.

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